What make it so hard for us to talk to each other?
1. Mentality.
One of the biggest barriers in expressing ourselves and in communicating is our perception on spilling our emotions towards someone or even on talking to someone. Some of us may have the fear to express themselves in words. They may think if they talked, nobody is going to care, or maybe they are afraid they might hurt some people’s feeling if they started to talk with those people. This is what happened in the compelling story titled ‘A Thousand Years of Prayers’. In the story, Yilan (daughter) had tried to have as little conversation as possible with Mr Shi (father). She had a conflict with his father, but at the same time, refuses to treat him badly. So, she tried to minimize her conversation with him to prevent from hurting his father.
2. Precedent conflict.
This might be common. Two people having conflicts or arguments or even misconceptions might feel very uncomfortable to talk to each other. Hatred may take over the conversation if they do so. Thus, they stop talking with each other. This is what happened again, between Yilan and Mr Shi. Yilan, since she was small, had the mindset of his father cheating on her and her late mother though it is not true. Since then, she refuses to talk to her father because all of her hatred towards her father. Somehow, by being resilient, she is showing signals to her father that she is rebelling.
3. Age difference.
In other words, generation gap. This is one of the reason we had ‘Persatuan Rakan Sebaya’ in schools – where a group of students were trained to be a counselor for their peers. Research had been made, stating that people are more comfortable to talk amongst their peers rather than talking with those who are from different generation with them. This maybe due to different lifestyle, and past experience. Taking an example in the story ‘A Thousand Years of Prayers’ , Mr Shi talked more with Madame, an Iranian women though they speak different language, compared to her daughter. There’s a scene when Mr Shi told Yilan about the communist. But, Yilan seems uninterested with the conversation. In contrast, when Mr Shi talked about it with Madame, she participate herself fully in that topic.
How do we break the emotional war?
One person need to give in and spill over their feelings to clear things out. They need to be crystal clear. However, that person needs to talk calmly, without blaming anyone and with the right time, place and tone. This would trigger the other side to open up and do the same thing and hopefully, the conflict could be solved ;)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
which side to believe??
Discrimination. Biased. Favouratism. All of it are the terms we used for unequal respect towards someone or a group. Australia was the melting pot of all races and customs. Supposedly, they should be acclimatized by the over decades multicultural environment, yet, Australia is said to encounter severe discrimination issue. But, is it true? We never had the first-hand experience of the culture in Australia. Most of us haven’t even been there before, yet we act like we know everything about it. We depend on mass media – internet, local newspaper, etc. But are all of these reliable? That is what we should ponder upon instead of just digesting every single news.
Malaysia was once jeopardized by the statement that said Malaysians were rude and hostile. But how far does that person who gives out the statement know Malaysia? So, try to reflect it on what we are doing right now. We are saying that Australians and discrimination are inseparable. This in fact, is the act of biasness. We are the one who discriminate them. I had once asked my senior about racism in Australia, and talking from her own experience, she said Australians were very helpful and surprisingly, not biased at all! Hence, which source should we believe? The profit-makers’ headlines or the one who really have the experience living in there for years? Personally, I used to believe the former hitherto. But, since I had my own story-teller who had been living in Australia for years, I had stopped myself from taking in and trusting the headlines made by the mass media. But who knows which one is true. The core is to put trust on one side. Therefore, I was hoping that, instead of just hearing on either one side, I could experience the environment in Australia myself. =)
Malaysia was once jeopardized by the statement that said Malaysians were rude and hostile. But how far does that person who gives out the statement know Malaysia? So, try to reflect it on what we are doing right now. We are saying that Australians and discrimination are inseparable. This in fact, is the act of biasness. We are the one who discriminate them. I had once asked my senior about racism in Australia, and talking from her own experience, she said Australians were very helpful and surprisingly, not biased at all! Hence, which source should we believe? The profit-makers’ headlines or the one who really have the experience living in there for years? Personally, I used to believe the former hitherto. But, since I had my own story-teller who had been living in Australia for years, I had stopped myself from taking in and trusting the headlines made by the mass media. But who knows which one is true. The core is to put trust on one side. Therefore, I was hoping that, instead of just hearing on either one side, I could experience the environment in Australia myself. =)
Friday, April 10, 2009
disgusting foods
I eat, my mom eats, Mr Derick eats too. Everybody eat! Almost everybody loves to eat. I have this unstoppable, severe and incurable addiction to foods. As long as it is edible, it will be ‘treasured’ in the most secure place ever – my stomach. Owh, how lovely world is if nobody cares about your body figures and health, I could just fill in my stomach with anything!
I am too obsessed with foods once, in form 2, that I gain almost 10 kg. I was not depressed; I didn’t get any free foods. I didn’t have any reason to eat. I just love to munch. I consumed foods like my nose breath in air. It never stops. I even ate when I’m not hungry. It was like a compulsory thing for me to do. I was a little monster at that time. My body was totally altered – from a twig-like, to a very very very fat hamster. My family and friends started to worry about me, especially my mom. She started to offer me aerobic classes, this and that. And all I did was just choosing which snack I should eat while I’m revising at home. How bad was that?
However, it doesn’t last long. I started to recover from my obsession as soon as I joined my school’s netball team. ( who says this shorty can’t play netball huh? ;p ) Snacks companies had loss profit as I stopped eating junk foods. In my team, weight should always be ideal, or else, there will be a ‘very special training’ just for you. I had gone through this many many times. It was truly excruciating. You’ll get stomach cramp; you will not feel your legs anymore. You can just see your legs, but you can’t feel it because the agony was just too much that you’ll feel numb. That was how strict it was. All of these must had something to do with projectile motion (physics just had to be applied everywhere.. huh…). The lighter you are, the easier for you to jump like a monkey – maybe.
But, there’s more than just sports that had saved me from obesity. There was a movie, a very disgusting movie about fast food; I just could not remember the title. It was 70% nauseating and 30% hilarious. In the movie it shows how the workers behave in front of the customer and behind them. One of the scenes that I remember the most is that, there’s a very hasty customer one day. He was very impatient and kept complaining about the services in the restaurant. The waiter and even the cook became very angry that they asked one of the workers with a very severe dandruff problem to sprinkle his dandruff on the food so that it looks like seasoning. Yucks! How disgusting was that? From the day I watched that movie, I’ll think 100 times before eating at any restaurant. But, at the same time, I thank the producer of the movie for producing such stomach-turning movie, or not, I’ll never stop eating.
Sadly, living in Bandar Utama, the temptation to eat outside is just too much! One Utama is too near with my house that I could get just every yummy food in there. Hmmm…. I just wish that I will not let the history to repeat itself again. And maybe I should watch that movie again? Hmmm… Well, below are pictures for all of my dear readers to see. It’s disgusting and it’s food that some of the people eat. So, for those of you who consume these foods, I’m sorry that I said it is disgusting. ;)
I am too obsessed with foods once, in form 2, that I gain almost 10 kg. I was not depressed; I didn’t get any free foods. I didn’t have any reason to eat. I just love to munch. I consumed foods like my nose breath in air. It never stops. I even ate when I’m not hungry. It was like a compulsory thing for me to do. I was a little monster at that time. My body was totally altered – from a twig-like, to a very very very fat hamster. My family and friends started to worry about me, especially my mom. She started to offer me aerobic classes, this and that. And all I did was just choosing which snack I should eat while I’m revising at home. How bad was that?
However, it doesn’t last long. I started to recover from my obsession as soon as I joined my school’s netball team. ( who says this shorty can’t play netball huh? ;p ) Snacks companies had loss profit as I stopped eating junk foods. In my team, weight should always be ideal, or else, there will be a ‘very special training’ just for you. I had gone through this many many times. It was truly excruciating. You’ll get stomach cramp; you will not feel your legs anymore. You can just see your legs, but you can’t feel it because the agony was just too much that you’ll feel numb. That was how strict it was. All of these must had something to do with projectile motion (physics just had to be applied everywhere.. huh…). The lighter you are, the easier for you to jump like a monkey – maybe.
But, there’s more than just sports that had saved me from obesity. There was a movie, a very disgusting movie about fast food; I just could not remember the title. It was 70% nauseating and 30% hilarious. In the movie it shows how the workers behave in front of the customer and behind them. One of the scenes that I remember the most is that, there’s a very hasty customer one day. He was very impatient and kept complaining about the services in the restaurant. The waiter and even the cook became very angry that they asked one of the workers with a very severe dandruff problem to sprinkle his dandruff on the food so that it looks like seasoning. Yucks! How disgusting was that? From the day I watched that movie, I’ll think 100 times before eating at any restaurant. But, at the same time, I thank the producer of the movie for producing such stomach-turning movie, or not, I’ll never stop eating.
Sadly, living in Bandar Utama, the temptation to eat outside is just too much! One Utama is too near with my house that I could get just every yummy food in there. Hmmm…. I just wish that I will not let the history to repeat itself again. And maybe I should watch that movie again? Hmmm… Well, below are pictures for all of my dear readers to see. It’s disgusting and it’s food that some of the people eat. So, for those of you who consume these foods, I’m sorry that I said it is disgusting. ;)
ulat mulong - i'm not sure whether they ate it in Sabah or Sarawak.
duck embryo - Filipinos ate this! People who tasted it said that it's tasty! Wanna try?
Fried Mouse anyone?p/s : In China or Japan, they even ate human embryo. I tried to find the picture, but I can't find it. They cooked it as a soup. Euwww!
Friday, April 3, 2009
8 simple rules
Do you ever wish to make people happy? I bet you do. =)
Here are some effort that you could work on just to brighten somebody's day.
Maybe your sweetheart? Or even the cleaner at our college?
So, do work on these ;) >>>>
1. smile
2. tell a joke and laugh your head off
3. praise them publicly
4. thank them for a job well done
5. free hug! =)
6. listen
7. pat them at the back
8. be happy yourself
That's it. Simple right? So, start today~!
Here are some effort that you could work on just to brighten somebody's day.
Maybe your sweetheart? Or even the cleaner at our college?
So, do work on these ;) >>>>
1. smile
2. tell a joke and laugh your head off
3. praise them publicly
4. thank them for a job well done
5. free hug! =)
6. listen
7. pat them at the back
8. be happy yourself
That's it. Simple right? So, start today~!
Friday, March 27, 2009
sensitivity = priority
In the old days, when I was only seven, I watch my sisters play MONOPOLY. I wanted to join them, but “shoo shoo”, they told me. Owh, it hurts a lot to be excluded from my own sisters. =( When I was ten, I was in standard five. My other friends were 11 years old, a year older than me. I watched them passing around love notes. I wanted to read them too, but they said, “no, you’re too innocent.” Owh, too bad.. =( And now I am almost 18 years old. I carried myself very well at every place. No more exclusion. But, there is still one place that I was omitted. A place where students with high intelligence are discussing about formulas and their own theories – an asylum to me.
Sometimes, I didn’t come to the asylum; the asylum came to me instead. Let me gave an example. I just got my Chemistry mark which is so devastating. Because of the very low mark, I was very determined to turn into a new leaf. So, with a new determination, I make my steps towards the library, with a Chemistry book in my hand, the bulky one. Then, came a friend, with a very complex facial expression- Proud? Satisfied? I just couldn’t tell. He asked me my Chemistry mark. I answered. And he was like “Owh.” Then, came another person, and another. At last there were five of us, asking each others’ marks. And it was around my table. My ‘study area’. My ‘place’. They just barge in, chattering around about their marks, and I was the one who was sitting very still, getting irked and mad because the ‘stereo’ is too loud and too near that it makes my ear bleed. Again, the exception was ME. Maybe I’m just jealous because amongst them, my mark is the lowest and they are standing there, making a wall around me and complaining about their marks. But hey, can’t they see that I am trying to gather up the pieces of my strength back? Complaining about your marks that is higher than mine in front of me never makes me feel better my dear friends.
I just don’t get it. Why are they so insensitive? They should know me by now. I was the one who need to be alone when I’m studying, not with a bunch of chattering human that keep talking about their mistakes in their exam, complaining about their marks. Just get over it. Just move on. If you want to keep looking back and make a fuss out of it, you can, but not near, beside or around me. Sometimes, you need to be extra sensitive about the person around you.
p/s : sorry Mr. Derrick, I guess this post is too emo. Can’t help it. =(
Sometimes, I didn’t come to the asylum; the asylum came to me instead. Let me gave an example. I just got my Chemistry mark which is so devastating. Because of the very low mark, I was very determined to turn into a new leaf. So, with a new determination, I make my steps towards the library, with a Chemistry book in my hand, the bulky one. Then, came a friend, with a very complex facial expression- Proud? Satisfied? I just couldn’t tell. He asked me my Chemistry mark. I answered. And he was like “Owh.” Then, came another person, and another. At last there were five of us, asking each others’ marks. And it was around my table. My ‘study area’. My ‘place’. They just barge in, chattering around about their marks, and I was the one who was sitting very still, getting irked and mad because the ‘stereo’ is too loud and too near that it makes my ear bleed. Again, the exception was ME. Maybe I’m just jealous because amongst them, my mark is the lowest and they are standing there, making a wall around me and complaining about their marks. But hey, can’t they see that I am trying to gather up the pieces of my strength back? Complaining about your marks that is higher than mine in front of me never makes me feel better my dear friends.
I just don’t get it. Why are they so insensitive? They should know me by now. I was the one who need to be alone when I’m studying, not with a bunch of chattering human that keep talking about their mistakes in their exam, complaining about their marks. Just get over it. Just move on. If you want to keep looking back and make a fuss out of it, you can, but not near, beside or around me. Sometimes, you need to be extra sensitive about the person around you.
p/s : sorry Mr. Derrick, I guess this post is too emo. Can’t help it. =(
Friday, March 20, 2009
pretend
It’s almost April. I felt like it was only yesterday I stepped into this ‘era of college hood’. I wish I never grew up this much. Yes, I know, I don’t grow up much – in the aspect of height. Haha! But, let’s take it seriously. I looked at the calendar just now – 8 months left before our big test. Wow, that’s fast. Perhaps, it is too fast. Are we taking the shortcut? I hope not, because I really do prefer to take the long highway now – after I realise that we are arriving to our destination too soon. I knew this is coming – the tense, the pressure. But now, I can feel it. It shot right through me. It hits the bull’s eye, perfect score.
“Just hold on a little bit, it’s almost over.” That’s what all of the people told me. The fact is, that is a lie. A BIG FAT LIE. Because, even if I pass the AUSMAT programme, I will still have to endure all of the pain being an architecture student - staying up late, scribbling, crumpling and throwing papers. Then, if I pass the exam, I’ll be an architect. It gets even complicated. Juggling works with other desires – one of them, social life. After that, I get married and have children. Now, I’m juggling works with family. Even more complicated.
My point is, there is no ending. These will all keep repeating. I’m not complaining about my life. I’m looking the other side of it. Even though all of these are suffocating us, there is at least one thing that we should never neglect. It is how strong we are. We are strong if we get pass through all of these suffering. So, to all of my friends and even to myself, just at least ‘pretend’ to be strong. It is not wrong to be a hypocrite sometimes, for our own sake. We’ll get through these. =)
“Just hold on a little bit, it’s almost over.” That’s what all of the people told me. The fact is, that is a lie. A BIG FAT LIE. Because, even if I pass the AUSMAT programme, I will still have to endure all of the pain being an architecture student - staying up late, scribbling, crumpling and throwing papers. Then, if I pass the exam, I’ll be an architect. It gets even complicated. Juggling works with other desires – one of them, social life. After that, I get married and have children. Now, I’m juggling works with family. Even more complicated.
My point is, there is no ending. These will all keep repeating. I’m not complaining about my life. I’m looking the other side of it. Even though all of these are suffocating us, there is at least one thing that we should never neglect. It is how strong we are. We are strong if we get pass through all of these suffering. So, to all of my friends and even to myself, just at least ‘pretend’ to be strong. It is not wrong to be a hypocrite sometimes, for our own sake. We’ll get through these. =)
Friday, March 6, 2009
TWILIGHT disease
This week is quite stressing. It pushed me and my friends to the limit. We are all ready to snap off, but there’s something that keep us from doing so. I guess that’s what aura from Australia actually is. Haha.
All of the exams, assignments and piling homework are really tensing me up. So, to relax myself, I got myself time to watch a movie in my laptop. Well, I ‘stole’ Twilight movie from my friend’s hard disk and I locked myself up in my room. I never thought I would like the movie so much that I would watch it trice in one week. I can’t even believe myself. Somehow, I felt not enough by only watching the movie. Sure, Edward Cullen, the main character in Twilight is very handsome, but I need more than just seeing. I need more details than what had been shown in the movie.
Luckily, my room mate has the novel. Asking her permission, I open the book with excitement. It was very thick that I thought I would never finish it. But, I was totally wrong. I skipped my meals; I neglected my ‘supposed-to-revise-book’. I could say that I am too absorbed with Twilight. I can’t help it. The novel is like a magnet. I sleep late because of it. I woke up extra early because of it. What should I do? It’s too fascinating! “Everything about the book invites me in – the cover, the words inside it, and even the smell of the book.” SEE! I even used the phrase from Edward! But, at least I rephrase it a little. =)
I never imagine myself too obsessed with book. I mean- novel, because I never like reading. But this time is different. This is somehow not good. I didn’t do any revision because I wanted to finish the story really badly.
Well, I hope this won’t last long. In my college era, studying should always come first before anything else. Hmm… Let’s just finish the book and get it over with. Hopefully I could concentrate on my revision after this. ..
All of the exams, assignments and piling homework are really tensing me up. So, to relax myself, I got myself time to watch a movie in my laptop. Well, I ‘stole’ Twilight movie from my friend’s hard disk and I locked myself up in my room. I never thought I would like the movie so much that I would watch it trice in one week. I can’t even believe myself. Somehow, I felt not enough by only watching the movie. Sure, Edward Cullen, the main character in Twilight is very handsome, but I need more than just seeing. I need more details than what had been shown in the movie.
Luckily, my room mate has the novel. Asking her permission, I open the book with excitement. It was very thick that I thought I would never finish it. But, I was totally wrong. I skipped my meals; I neglected my ‘supposed-to-revise-book’. I could say that I am too absorbed with Twilight. I can’t help it. The novel is like a magnet. I sleep late because of it. I woke up extra early because of it. What should I do? It’s too fascinating! “Everything about the book invites me in – the cover, the words inside it, and even the smell of the book.” SEE! I even used the phrase from Edward! But, at least I rephrase it a little. =)
I never imagine myself too obsessed with book. I mean- novel, because I never like reading. But this time is different. This is somehow not good. I didn’t do any revision because I wanted to finish the story really badly.
Well, I hope this won’t last long. In my college era, studying should always come first before anything else. Hmm… Let’s just finish the book and get it over with. Hopefully I could concentrate on my revision after this. ..
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