sensitivity = priority

In the old days, when I was only seven, I watch my sisters play MONOPOLY. I wanted to join them, but “shoo shoo”, they told me. Owh, it hurts a lot to be excluded from my own sisters. =( When I was ten, I was in standard five. My other friends were 11 years old, a year older than me. I watched them passing around love notes. I wanted to read them too, but they said, “no, you’re too innocent.” Owh, too bad.. =( And now I am almost 18 years old. I carried myself very well at every place. No more exclusion. But, there is still one place that I was omitted. A place where students with high intelligence are discussing about formulas and their own theories – an asylum to me.

Sometimes, I didn’t come to the asylum; the asylum came to me instead. Let me gave an example. I just got my Chemistry mark which is so devastating. Because of the very low mark, I was very determined to turn into a new leaf. So, with a new determination, I make my steps towards the library, with a Chemistry book in my hand, the bulky one. Then, came a friend, with a very complex facial expression- Proud? Satisfied? I just couldn’t tell. He asked me my Chemistry mark. I answered. And he was like “Owh.” Then, came another person, and another. At last there were five of us, asking each others’ marks. And it was around my table. My ‘study area’. My ‘place’. They just barge in, chattering around about their marks, and I was the one who was sitting very still, getting irked and mad because the ‘stereo’ is too loud and too near that it makes my ear bleed. Again, the exception was ME. Maybe I’m just jealous because amongst them, my mark is the lowest and they are standing there, making a wall around me and complaining about their marks. But hey, can’t they see that I am trying to gather up the pieces of my strength back? Complaining about your marks that is higher than mine in front of me never makes me feel better my dear friends.

I just don’t get it. Why are they so insensitive? They should know me by now. I was the one who need to be alone when I’m studying, not with a bunch of chattering human that keep talking about their mistakes in their exam, complaining about their marks. Just get over it. Just move on. If you want to keep looking back and make a fuss out of it, you can, but not near, beside or around me. Sometimes, you need to be extra sensitive about the person around you.

p/s : sorry Mr. Derrick, I guess this post is too emo. Can’t help it. =(