friday night blog

communicating

2009-07-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

What make it so hard for us to talk to each other?

1. Mentality.
One of the biggest barriers in expressing ourselves and in communicating is our perception on spilling our emotions towards someone or even on talking to someone. Some of us may have the fear to express themselves in words. They may think if they talked, nobody is going to care, or maybe they are afraid they might hurt some people’s feeling if they started to talk with those people. This is what happened in the compelling story titled ‘A Thousand Years of Prayers’. In the story, Yilan (daughter) had tried to have as little conversation as possible with Mr Shi (father). She had a conflict with his father, but at the same time, refuses to treat him badly. So, she tried to minimize her conversation with him to prevent from hurting his father.

2. Precedent conflict.
This might be common. Two people having conflicts or arguments or even misconceptions might feel very uncomfortable to talk to each other. Hatred may take over the conversation if they do so. Thus, they stop talking with each other. This is what happened again, between Yilan and Mr Shi. Yilan, since she was small, had the mindset of his father cheating on her and her late mother though it is not true. Since then, she refuses to talk to her father because all of her hatred towards her father. Somehow, by being resilient, she is showing signals to her father that she is rebelling.

3. Age difference.
In other words, generation gap. This is one of the reason we had ‘Persatuan Rakan Sebaya’ in schools – where a group of students were trained to be a counselor for their peers. Research had been made, stating that people are more comfortable to talk amongst their peers rather than talking with those who are from different generation with them. This maybe due to different lifestyle, and past experience. Taking an example in the story ‘A Thousand Years of Prayers’ , Mr Shi talked more with Madame, an Iranian women though they speak different language, compared to her daughter. There’s a scene when Mr Shi told Yilan about the communist. But, Yilan seems uninterested with the conversation. In contrast, when Mr Shi talked about it with Madame, she participate herself fully in that topic.

How do we break the emotional war?

One person need to give in and spill over their feelings to clear things out. They need to be crystal clear. However, that person needs to talk calmly, without blaming anyone and with the right time, place and tone. This would trigger the other side to open up and do the same thing and hopefully, the conflict could be solved ;)

which side to believe??

2009-05-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

Discrimination. Biased. Favouratism. All of it are the terms we used for unequal respect towards someone or a group. Australia was the melting pot of all races and customs. Supposedly, they should be acclimatized by the over decades multicultural environment, yet, Australia is said to encounter severe discrimination issue. But, is it true? We never had the first-hand experience of the culture in Australia. Most of us haven’t even been there before, yet we act like we know everything about it. We depend on mass media – internet, local newspaper, etc. But are all of these reliable? That is what we should ponder upon instead of just digesting every single news.

Malaysia was once jeopardized by the statement that said Malaysians were rude and hostile. But how far does that person who gives out the statement know Malaysia? So, try to reflect it on what we are doing right now. We are saying that Australians and discrimination are inseparable. This in fact, is the act of biasness. We are the one who discriminate them. I had once asked my senior about racism in Australia, and talking from her own experience, she said Australians were very helpful and surprisingly, not biased at all! Hence, which source should we believe? The profit-makers’ headlines or the one who really have the experience living in there for years? Personally, I used to believe the former hitherto. But, since I had my own story-teller who had been living in Australia for years, I had stopped myself from taking in and trusting the headlines made by the mass media. But who knows which one is true. The core is to put trust on one side. Therefore, I was hoping that, instead of just hearing on either one side, I could experience the environment in Australia myself. =)

disgusting foods

2009-04-10T01:21:00.000-07:00

I eat, my mom eats, Mr Derick eats too. Everybody eat! Almost everybody loves to eat. I have this unstoppable, severe and incurable addiction to foods. As long as it is edible, it will be ‘treasured’ in the most secure place ever – my stomach. Owh, how lovely world is if nobody cares about your body figures and health, I could just fill in my stomach with anything!

I am too obsessed with foods once, in form 2, that I gain almost 10 kg. I was not depressed; I didn’t get any free foods. I didn’t have any reason to eat. I just love to munch. I consumed foods like my nose breath in air. It never stops. I even ate when I’m not hungry. It was like a compulsory thing for me to do. I was a little monster at that time. My body was totally altered – from a twig-like, to a very very very fat hamster. My family and friends started to worry about me, especially my mom. She started to offer me aerobic classes, this and that. And all I did was just choosing which snack I should eat while I’m revising at home. How bad was that?

However, it doesn’t last long. I started to recover from my obsession as soon as I joined my school’s netball team. ( who says this shorty can’t play netball huh? ;p ) Snacks companies had loss profit as I stopped eating junk foods. In my team, weight should always be ideal, or else, there will be a ‘very special training’ just for you. I had gone through this many many times. It was truly excruciating. You’ll get stomach cramp; you will not feel your legs anymore. You can just see your legs, but you can’t feel it because the agony was just too much that you’ll feel numb. That was how strict it was. All of these must had something to do with projectile motion (physics just had to be applied everywhere.. huh…). The lighter you are, the easier for you to jump like a monkey – maybe.

But, there’s more than just sports that had saved me from obesity. There was a movie, a very disgusting movie about fast food; I just could not remember the title. It was 70% nauseating and 30% hilarious. In the movie it shows how the workers behave in front of the customer and behind them. One of the scenes that I remember the most is that, there’s a very hasty customer one day. He was very impatient and kept complaining about the services in the restaurant. The waiter and even the cook became very angry that they asked one of the workers with a very severe dandruff problem to sprinkle his dandruff on the food so that it looks like seasoning. Yucks! How disgusting was that? From the day I watched that movie, I’ll think 100 times before eating at any restaurant. But, at the same time, I thank the producer of the movie for producing such stomach-turning movie, or not, I’ll never stop eating.

Sadly, living in Bandar Utama, the temptation to eat outside is just too much! One Utama is too near with my house that I could get just every yummy food in there. Hmmm…. I just wish that I will not let the history to repeat itself again. And maybe I should watch that movie again? Hmmm… Well, below are pictures for all of my dear readers to see. It’s disgusting and it’s food that some of the people eat. So, for those of you who consume these foods, I’m sorry that I said it is disgusting. ;)

ulat mulong - i'm not sure whether they ate it in Sabah or Sarawak.

duck embryo - Filipinos ate this! People who tasted it said that it's tasty! Wanna try?

Fried Mouse anyone?

p/s : In China or Japan, they even ate human embryo. I tried to find the picture, but I can't find it. They cooked it as a soup. Euwww!

8 simple rules

2009-04-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wish to make people happy? I bet you do. =)
Here are some effort that you could work on just to brighten somebody's day.
Maybe your sweetheart? Or even the cleaner at our college?
So, do work on these ;) >>>>

1. smile

2. tell a joke and laugh your head off

3. praise them publicly

4. thank them for a job well done

5. free hug! =)

6. listen

7. pat them at the back

8. be happy yourself

That's it. Simple right? So, start today~!

sensitivity = priority

2009-03-27T10:17:00.000-07:00

In the old days, when I was only seven, I watch my sisters play MONOPOLY. I wanted to join them, but “shoo shoo”, they told me. Owh, it hurts a lot to be excluded from my own sisters. =( When I was ten, I was in standard five. My other friends were 11 years old, a year older than me. I watched them passing around love notes. I wanted to read them too, but they said, “no, you’re too innocent.” Owh, too bad.. =( And now I am almost 18 years old. I carried myself very well at every place. No more exclusion. But, there is still one place that I was omitted. A place where students with high intelligence are discussing about formulas and their own theories – an asylum to me.

Sometimes, I didn’t come to the asylum; the asylum came to me instead. Let me gave an example. I just got my Chemistry mark which is so devastating. Because of the very low mark, I was very determined to turn into a new leaf. So, with a new determination, I make my steps towards the library, with a Chemistry book in my hand, the bulky one. Then, came a friend, with a very complex facial expression- Proud? Satisfied? I just couldn’t tell. He asked me my Chemistry mark. I answered. And he was like “Owh.” Then, came another person, and another. At last there were five of us, asking each others’ marks. And it was around my table. My ‘study area’. My ‘place’. They just barge in, chattering around about their marks, and I was the one who was sitting very still, getting irked and mad because the ‘stereo’ is too loud and too near that it makes my ear bleed. Again, the exception was ME. Maybe I’m just jealous because amongst them, my mark is the lowest and they are standing there, making a wall around me and complaining about their marks. But hey, can’t they see that I am trying to gather up the pieces of my strength back? Complaining about your marks that is higher than mine in front of me never makes me feel better my dear friends.

I just don’t get it. Why are they so insensitive? They should know me by now. I was the one who need to be alone when I’m studying, not with a bunch of chattering human that keep talking about their mistakes in their exam, complaining about their marks. Just get over it. Just move on. If you want to keep looking back and make a fuss out of it, you can, but not near, beside or around me. Sometimes, you need to be extra sensitive about the person around you.

p/s : sorry Mr. Derrick, I guess this post is too emo. Can’t help it. =(

pretend

2009-03-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

It’s almost April. I felt like it was only yesterday I stepped into this ‘era of college hood’. I wish I never grew up this much. Yes, I know, I don’t grow up much – in the aspect of height. Haha! But, let’s take it seriously. I looked at the calendar just now – 8 months left before our big test. Wow, that’s fast. Perhaps, it is too fast. Are we taking the shortcut? I hope not, because I really do prefer to take the long highway now – after I realise that we are arriving to our destination too soon. I knew this is coming – the tense, the pressure. But now, I can feel it. It shot right through me. It hits the bull’s eye, perfect score.

“Just hold on a little bit, it’s almost over.” That’s what all of the people told me. The fact is, that is a lie. A BIG FAT LIE. Because, even if I pass the AUSMAT programme, I will still have to endure all of the pain being an architecture student - staying up late, scribbling, crumpling and throwing papers. Then, if I pass the exam, I’ll be an architect. It gets even complicated. Juggling works with other desires – one of them, social life. After that, I get married and have children. Now, I’m juggling works with family. Even more complicated.

My point is, there is no ending. These will all keep repeating. I’m not complaining about my life. I’m looking the other side of it. Even though all of these are suffocating us, there is at least one thing that we should never neglect. It is how strong we are. We are strong if we get pass through all of these suffering. So, to all of my friends and even to myself, just at least ‘pretend’ to be strong. It is not wrong to be a hypocrite sometimes, for our own sake. We’ll get through these. =)

TWILIGHT disease

2009-03-06T23:52:00.000-08:00

This week is quite stressing. It pushed me and my friends to the limit. We are all ready to snap off, but there’s something that keep us from doing so. I guess that’s what aura from Australia actually is. Haha.

All of the exams, assignments and piling homework are really tensing me up. So, to relax myself, I got myself time to watch a movie in my laptop. Well, I ‘stole’ Twilight movie from my friend’s hard disk and I locked myself up in my room. I never thought I would like the movie so much that I would watch it trice in one week. I can’t even believe myself. Somehow, I felt not enough by only watching the movie. Sure, Edward Cullen, the main character in Twilight is very handsome, but I need more than just seeing. I need more details than what had been shown in the movie.

Luckily, my room mate has the novel. Asking her permission, I open the book with excitement. It was very thick that I thought I would never finish it. But, I was totally wrong. I skipped my meals; I neglected my ‘supposed-to-revise-book’. I could say that I am too absorbed with Twilight. I can’t help it. The novel is like a magnet. I sleep late because of it. I woke up extra early because of it. What should I do? It’s too fascinating! “Everything about the book invites me in – the cover, the words inside it, and even the smell of the book.” SEE! I even used the phrase from Edward! But, at least I rephrase it a little. =)

I never imagine myself too obsessed with book. I mean- novel, because I never like reading. But this time is different. This is somehow not good. I didn’t do any revision because I wanted to finish the story really badly.

Well, I hope this won’t last long. In my college era, studying should always come first before anything else. Hmm… Let’s just finish the book and get it over with. Hopefully I could concentrate on my revision after this. ..

no pain no gain

2009-02-20T07:55:00.000-08:00

It’s 2.30 a.m and it’s Friday. This is suppose to be Friday ’night’ blog, but I wrote it in the very early morning of Friday. I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it’s insomnia. Maybe too much caffeine in my system. Whatever the reason is, I just feel glad that I couldn’t sleep at this hour, because the internet connection is good now. This, I should remind you, is too seldom to be enjoyed. The connection is usually bad. Maybe that’s the point, for us to spend fewer hours in front of our laptop and open the book more frequently. Unfortunately, the condition never deters us to glue ourselves in front of the screen.

But, how bad or how worse it could be, we will still utilize the wireless system provided for the JPA students. Well, we are the ‘good’ and ‘submissive’ students. The JPA wants us to pass TER 80, we strive for it. We are even dying from striving too much. Okay, that’s a hyperbole. But, it’s true, except for the dying part. Let’s see. There are tones of homework to do, assignments require a lot of group discussion and exam is just around the corner. However, this is good. These prepare us for the next level.

Our seniors had gone to Australia. Only God knows how much I envy them. They are now a step ahead to become an architect. As for us, we still here, still fear what might come out in the TEE exam. The only way we could claim ourselves to be an architecture student is by our class name-Architecture 2. I wonder when will I pass through all of these. It’s not the assignments, or the homework, or the exams that are killing me, it’s the waiting that is aching.

Whatever it is, I’ll pray really hard for all of us to be able to fly next year. =)

vertically challenged

2009-01-29T00:40:00.000-08:00

Shortness-it runs through my family. My dad, my mom, all of my siblings, and me, we are all less than 160cm height. There are some absurd questions that I hate to hear because it portrays the stupidity of humans, or brain malfunction, maybe. Some sort of question like-“Why are you so short?” There were a lot more questions like these that I tried to recall, but I just couldn’t. Maybe because my brain could not interpret those sorts of questionnaire-those that only God knows the answers. If you ask me why am I so short, I’ll definitely say “so that you’ll know what ‘short’ means..” In case if you don’t get the tone, it’s sarcastic.

Sometimes I wonder why people care too much about my height. Does this shortness bother you in any way? Sorry, but I just don’t get it. Because for me, it is an advantage and it’s my identity. I never had any regrets carrying my parent’s gene in my entire life. But, the irony is, some people feel sorry on my behalf. It is so kind of them, but, frankly speaking, I just don’t need the empathy. But, most of the time, I’ll just laugh it off when these ridiculousness came tickling me.

I could not even imagine what people’s first impressions towards my height are. To judge my face, or my personality before knowing me well, is common. But, judging me by my height? Hmm… I wonder what are there in my height to be judged about. Is it good or is it bad? There is a case during my days in high school. A teacher told me, I should not be too active in sports because I’m short. This is a true story. This statement makes me think, and think and think. What is the message behind of the statement? But, until today, as I kept wondering what is the link between shortness and being active in sports, I could only say “Huhh??”. So, just to stop my curiosity, I just speculate that the teacher must have thought that every short people have low level of stamina-even it is absolutely not true.

As I said earlier, this shortness is my advantage, my identity. First, I always win hide and seek during my childhood days. Second, it is easy for people to recognize me everywhere I go. Third, I always get the front seat during class photography session. My face will never be blocked. Haha! Forth, I look younger with this height. So, what is there left to complaint about?

So, for those people carrying the same gene as I am, never wish to have somebody else’s figure. Just be confident and feel good of yourself! We have our own way to be beautiful. I am very attracted to my room mate’s quotation that she pasted on our wall. The quotation goes like this- “I’m not beautiful like you, I’m beautiful like me”. Therefore, never be ashamed of who you are! ;)

learning lesson through bad memories

2009-01-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

I was 11 years old when two guys, both were complete strangers, totally not invited to my house, came in through the windows in the kitchen. I was sleeping with my mom and dad at that time. My parents slept on the bed while I slept on the floor just beside their bed, tugging in my soft cottony mantle. My mom who was a good sleeper somehow could not keep her eyes shut that night.

It was about 4 am. We never locked our bedroom door before we slept, until the incident happened. The incident that makes me traumatised until today. My mom suddenly shout, “ Siapa kau?! Kau nak apa?!” (In English : “Who are you?! What do you want?!”) She saw two shadows with figures of man, and she knew they were robbers because I have no brothers, just sisters. There was no way my sister worked out too much until she became all muscled up like that. I saw them too; they were on my parents’ bed, pointing their Rambo knife directly at my parents’ neck. I could still hark back all of the yelling and shouting between my parents and those robbers while I was hiding under my thick mantle. The robbers did not notice me because it was dark in the room and I covered up my whole body with the mantle, crying and terrified. Seconds after they tied up my parents with our phone cable they cut before, they broke into my sisters’ bedroom just in front of my parents’ room. My sisters were forced to gather into my parents’ room, but untied. Both of the strangers then warn us not to act stupid or they’ll kill us and went downstairs. What had happened downstairs, we never knew.

While they were downstairs, probably taking all our valuables, my sisters and I helped to untied my parents. We braved ourselves to call the police and our neighbours. My mom, being a brave woman, almost went downstairs to ‘confront’ the robbers. Perhaps, she could not think straight at that time. My father on the other hand was still on the phone, informing the police what is happening. Seeing my mother who insisted to go downstairs, I immediately grabbed her and begged her not to go. My sisters and I cried and cried and cried. She hugged us and comforted us.

For about half an hour, when we completely sure that they had left the house, all of us braved ourselves to go downstairs, each with weapons on hands. Petrified and heart pounding, we all went down. And all we could see was our stuffs all messed up on the floor. Despite all the things we were seeing, we were actually thankful that the robbers were not there. Many things were stolen- laptop, our watch collections, my dad’s briefcase full with important documents, shoes and many more. But, fortuitously, no life was taken. The police on the other hand was too late. It made no difference if they never came.

All of these had made me in shock. I could not sleep if there is a window beside me, I could not feel the pleasure of sleeping for months, I could hardly use the knife for almost years. But, the incident had made me realise how much I love my family. I was so scared to lose them. Maybe that is why I prefer to stick with my family rather than going too far from them. I somehow feel that I could protect them with this love. Family comes first, by hook or by crook, we need to shield them. All of us need to bear that in mind, made it our everyday motto and you’ll appreciate life more. Bad memories can sometimes help you in life. Don't you think so? ;)

stop the war! please!

2009-01-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

I used to love reading newspaper, when the world economy is booming, when there was good news in every pages of the newspaper. But, that was long time ago. After the drastic changes came in, I feel like I’ll waste my money buying newspaper full of war stories. Pictures of crying children, bombed buildings and houses, and bleeding people give me an eye-sore. Why should there be war? That is the biggest question from me to the entire world. Why can’t we be united and let peace conquers this world? In fact, we are all humans; we are all living in the same planet, we breathe in the same air. Nobody have the right to stop other people from enjoying the peacefulness of this world.

What I really don’t understand is that, don’t they have a heart? If they do, how could they be so merciless even to the little children? We could just see today’s newspaper. The Israelis had again attacked Palestine, and most of the victims were children. The Palestinians’ freedom had been robbed by those cruel dictators while we were here, spending our allowances given by the government on unnecessary things, and enjoying the internet without boundaries. Sometimes, when I buy new clothes, eat finger licking good Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), I loathe myself for forgetting about those poor people who had to hide themselves from the Israel troops.

If I were a leader, my main priority will be about peacefulness, because it is every human’s right. I will tie a bond with all of the leaders in the world, compromised with them and make the world a better place to live. Other than that, I will also make people living in this planet as one world unity. I know the fact that it is easier to talk than to make it real. But, there must be a baby step to this. At least, less war and less suffering could make the future brighter.

What I could suggest to the world is, ‘The World’s Agreement’. In this agreement, every leader in the world will sit together and compromise with each other on what they want, what they should do and so on. But, the most crucial question they should answer is, ‘how could the world be free from war?’ Only then we could think about the next step. Unfortunately, I’m not even close to be a politician. So, my little voice could hardly be heard by people.

However, I do take a simple step in order to help our poor fellows who are under attack. I’m giving my hand by some donations, and pray for them every single day. May they found peace someday, in this life or the other life...

just warming up =)

2009-01-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

English sounds very easy for me to cope with before I stepped into the era of being a college student. But, only now I realize how complicated it is and how it could tangle my mind. Fortunately, I got myself a great lecturer, Mr. Derick, who will be reading my blog and other students’ blogs every week. This blog will be my journal from now on. The students and I were required to update the blog once in a week. It’s to enhance our English and part of self-learning. I was quite excited with the method of blogging online instead of writing in a book and passed it up to be checked every week by the lecturer, which is so out of date and boring. To me, it’s a good approach for the students. Furthermore, blogging is my hobby, so I have no problem in doing it. In fact, I can’t wait to type on my second post.

Other than being introduced to this new way of learning-blogging, I am also eager to take part in all of the activities that had been scheduled for us all through this year. At first, when Mr. Derick passed the course outline to the whole class, I was quite tensed with a very long list of assignments, activities and tests. However, as Mr Derick had gone through the course outline with us, and explain each of it clearly, all I could feel is excitement, because we could do a lot of activities that we have not done before, such as documentaries, movie review, play, and many more. I really can’t wait to do all of these new things.

This year, I hope that I could improve my English, especially my grammar. It had been my weakness since I was in primary school. Other than that, I really wish that I could learn more than just English. What I meant is, I want to be more creative in expressing my idea and to be skillful in communicating and interacting with people. All of these aptitudes are essential to be an international architect-my dream profession. Even though it may seem too early for me to think about it, it is never wrong to equip myself with all of these groundworks.

Therefore, I should pay hundred per cent attention and give full co operation during my English class and in every activity which will soon be held. I pledge to myself to be more focused and serious in learning and studying this year, for the sake of Australia. I need to pursue my study in Australia. It has been my aim since I was accepted by the government to be sponsored in studying architecture. I will never take this golden chance for granted.